Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Should you tell your partner Everything. .

Whats up guys. . . . How have u been? Probably enjoying the xmas season right. . . Or Not. . Anyway i wish u guys merry xmas and all the best. .

I also want to thank u everyone who has contributed to my blog in one way or the other through ur comments, etc i really really appriciate it.

I was reading a blog the other day and i cant really remember the blog name. . But the person was talking about looking back at the things she wrote maybe years later n be like, this is how i used to reason while i was a teeneger or so so years old. .

So am keeping this blog, writing anything i feel like, no matter how stupid it may sound hoping that one day, in the nearest or farthest future, i can look back at what i ve written, my ideas, thoughts, theories about life and everything and laugh. . ... .

So back to my thought 4 today. . ..

how much should your partner know about you. Is it right to tell him or her everything that goes on in your day to day life or are there things you should keep to your self. .

If so how much should one keep to him/her self. .

Still on the same issue when you do something wrong no matter what it is, most especially cheat on your spouse. . Is it right to tell him or her even when you know they might never find out. . And it doesnt seem neccessary,

what should be your reason for confessing even at the detriment of your relationship. I.e when it might affect your relationship negatively, why cause a trouble you can avoid by just keeping a little secret. .

Do you agree with me that most times we confess a wrong simply becos we feel guilty and we want the other person to share our burden. Is that really neccessary?
Dont you think its only reasonable that we bear the burden of our guilt, instead of causing the other person a pain he/she doesnt deserve , which could have been avoided by keeping a few things to your self.

I ve always advocated telling your partner everything infact, i tell mine everytin, no matter how right or wrong that thing might be. .

Yet every time i tell someone that i dont have any secrets, am always told that i should keep certain things to my self that im beggining to think they might be right.

even proffessionals will say its ok to keep a few things to your self. .

So What do you think. ?
What are the things u cant share with your partner in a relationship or marriage, . .wether its about your bu$siness, money issues, sexual affairs etc. . Or will u share just about everything and anything. .
Will love to know ur view. .

Merry xmas and have fun. .

24 comments:

  1. It's good to keep secrets of one self only to oneself. Because if u expose your secrets to the wind, they will carry it to the trees.

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  2. This is pretty tough one, sunnyside.
    I believe that in a relationship openness is extremely important and that one should always try to live above board.
    This is the principle though:I will not tell you what will kill you or kill us both.

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  3. I agree with u . . One should keep his/her secrets to oneself. Yet what about when you are in a relationship or even married and the two becomes one. . Would u still keep secrets, what are those things that qualify to be kept secret..that u would never tell your partner

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  4. @ posekyere

    thats a nice point. .yet most times the truth always finds its way out and it hurts more when u hear it from someone other than ur partner. . So wouldnt u say its beta to hurt earlier than l8r which might even be far worse

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  5. I go with the view of sharing everything with your partner especially when they ask. That way they don't get to hear it from someone else and that becomes an issue further ahead in the future.

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  6. I too believe in openess and sharing things with your partner. Some things are on a need to know basis though so if they don't ask then keep your mouth shum!

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  7. Yup, I am of the tell your partner everything school of thought but as I get older I am beginning to reaalise that there are some things that should be kept to yourself especially if they are not harmful.

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  8. @ myne whitman

    i totally agree wit u.
    Have u noticed that most times we share our secrets just cos we are afraid of what will happen if they are discoverd by our partner. So in a case where we are certainly sure they can NEVER find out. Should we still tell them.?

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  9. Its real confusing
    like
    I think no secrets
    but i also think that you dont have to tell everything verbatim, it comes with the tactfulness of knowing ur partner.

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  10. Sometimes I say that if you cant tell your patner everything, then there's a problem somewhr.
    but I have come to realize that most times its also for your own sake that you share.
    So,yes I am all for sharing!

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  11. i'm all for sharing..especially if it's ur spouse..something are pertinent and will create a level of trust...i'll tell u o so that years down the line if u hear something, u wont say i didnt tell u..besides, secrets have a way of screaming to be told..lol

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  12. I am a firm believer that some things are better left unsaid... Honesty is good but you need that little bit of yourself to hold on to... I'm not saying deep dark secret that could cause some trouble later on though... keeping that kinda secret tends to bite one in the ass... but to each his own eh?
    thanks for the comment at mine
    :)
    xoxo

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  13. I think we all know or have an instinct of what things we should be sharing with our partners and what we shouldn't. If it will affect your relationship, in either a good way or a bad, I think we should tell it, because it affects more than you.

    There are other things that you might share because you trust your partner enough to make yourself vulnerable in front of him or her. I don't think your partner needs to know your every thought or every secret, but you should trust them enough to share them.

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  14. well, if you are going to tell, don't tell out
    of guilt but out of respect in the sense that
    it's an insult to someone if they trust you
    with certain things in their lives and you can't
    trust them with things in yours...
    but i think it's more about getting a feel of
    the person in question. Know what works for
    him/her. when to say certain things and when
    to be mute about others...it's ok to keep some
    to yourself...did i make sense? lol!

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  15. I've been with Mr. Fairway so many years that I can't even remember the urge to keep quiet. While I don't think we share everything, I think we've found the perfect middle ground...

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  16. Hey thanks for stopping by my page..

    Like someone said, this is a bit tough but here's what i think. you don't have to tell your partners everything and i for one, have a couple of secrets that my boyfriend doesn't know abt. But one thing i've learnt about life is that certain things that u consider 'closed chapters' always come back to bite you in the ass.

    you may cheat and think that he/she won't find out but most likely someday, when he/she gets to find out, the knowledge of not only the secret, but how've long you've kept it from them can ruin your relationship.
    so i'm kinda stuck in the middle with this but one thing i know for sure though is it pays to be open and honest.

    Later luv!!
    F.

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  17. i know i'm late ...but i think when you're starting out and getting to know a person it's good to keep a few choice morsels to yourself. some mystery is always good. apart from mystery, some things are also just unnecessary to share lol. it makes the relationship experience that much better when you're discovering stuff abt each other with time...nice post and happy holidays.

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  18. I don't just know why people create problems for themselves when there is none..
    I was dating this guy and we agreed on honesty and all, and when the issue of cheating came up, it got bad.. look, let me not bore you, some people can't handle the truth, no matter what they tell you, it just wont be the same,
    Now, i'm not saying, that when or if you're asked, that you should deny.. No, don't. but you don't misbehave and go tell the person, in any case, well, i'm begining to sound like a bitch.. i'd stop here,please, try to keep some things to yourself!haba!control your mouth.have some mystery, guys, love that a lot.. i'm not saying bad secrets, but, you know, take it easy with the spilling.!it helps.. spill every and any to a guy, well some appreciate it and some don't.
    FREE ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
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  19. This one is a tough one. I am a real private person. Maybe that is why I don't stay in relationships for too long. I am trying hard with my new one. I just feel their are things that should be just for you and kept to yourself and they don't need to know. I agree with 2cute4your. Most people can't handle the truth. So it is best to keep things under your hat once in a while!

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  20. yeah this post is cool,a goiod partner should tell his or her spouse evrything only if its true love they both have for eachother,hope you enjoyed your xmas

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  21. to tell or not to tell: I've tried both and honestly, the latter works for me. I've had helathier, longer, and more fulfiling relationships when we both tend to focus on ourselves, the present and not what happened when he was in his mama's womb :)
    Happy new year boo

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  22. thanks a great deal i really appreciate all ur sincere answers and believe me it was not a waste of ur time.

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  23. Nope, as i believe that there are things/ events and situations that is left untold because of you do it will just create friction between the two.

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